you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
