Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize