i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
