I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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