Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
its liver damage thursday
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
