Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
