to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
