Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
