exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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