come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
