just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
