Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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