Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
