remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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