The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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