Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My first STD was from a foam party
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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