...so i touched it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
