Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
