Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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