I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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