Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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