I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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