I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
