some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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