This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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