Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize