i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
