I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
