The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
