I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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