You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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