Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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