Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize