I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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