she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
