nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
