This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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