i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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