You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
