if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
