it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
