why didn't you poke me back
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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