My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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