This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
