Got a toothbrush?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
