I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
