he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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