Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
