where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Welp...herpes.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
