just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
