weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
