Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
