is wine microwaveable?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He passed out mid-signature
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
