they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
