I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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