I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
