Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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