Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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