Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
