I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I had to cum in my sink.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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