my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize