i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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