Define "chronic" masturbator.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
