Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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