Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Randomize
