for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
