This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Randomize
