The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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