I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
