my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
