i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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