Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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