the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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