She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
