That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
