in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
