Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
