She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I will pee on everything he values.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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