I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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