I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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