I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize