Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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