so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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