I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
